Dead Of Night

Hello.

A quick upadate for now.
I got into university, into the pre-journalism program, i start this fall. So that a giant weight off my shoulders... boy is it ever. Everyone is really happy for me, which is nice for a change especially from my family.

I also just got my lap top, oh and its a beauty. Love it. its a sony vaio, cd/dvd burner built it and about the best thing ever. Thats another giant weight off my shoulders too. Although, I still need a printer and a carrying case and other such things as that but i asked for a lot of it for my birthday so thats very handy. I also asked for a mini fridge, because eveyones gotta have one of those. Haha.

In other news, Im going to stay with Lyndsay for a four day weekend here at the end of march and then registration in on the twelfth of april. Unfortunately she won't be able to come with me either so thats a pain, but i gotta suck it up do stuff on my own for a change. i also wish that the stuff the uni was suppsed to send out in feb would get here I want to know stuff! Geez, like wether i got into res or not and if so what room! I can't wait to move in and out of here.

thats all for now though, I might update some other random time, because according to this, thats really what I like to do. lol

-love love love

I never post here.
Why?
Because honestly its kinda weird.
Weird you ask.
Well because on here everything is a little more public.

Enough about that though. Applying for shool is going to take a good chunk out of me. Mentally and physically. Its not easy. Especially with my mom being the loser that she is. She refuses to help me with anything. Even filling out a damn application form. Gawd.

Other than that. With christmas coming up, i'm working more than ever so thats always a treat. Now I'm in a bad mood.

-love love love

I can't seem to please you.
I can't fufill your expectations of me.
I can't help how I feel.
I can't forget whats already happened.
I can't deal with whats going on.
I can't stand the pressure.
I can't stop wanting what I want.
I can't believe half of things that are going on.
I just can't is all I can say.
And I know you hate to hear it,
even though I haven't said it.
I'm so sorry.

-love love love

FUCK OFF WORLD! 
LEAVE ME ALONE!
GAAAAHHH!

Well... I never update in this thing anymore and that is probably because I have another journal that I write in everyday by my bedside. Yes, I am a freak of that sort.

Another reason I never update in here anymore is because nothing interesting ever happens in my life. All I do is work work work work WORK. It gets old because nothing interesting ever happens at work except for me getting reemed out by some crazed customer on sunday and getting locked in the garbage room two days later for 15 minutes and getting scared that no one was coming to find me. (Our pharmacist finally did.)

And thats been my life pretty much since Lyndsay(nowhere_girl12) left home and moved to a different city. I've visited her once and she's coming home this weekend so that should be fun.

Oh and just to get this out.
I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE FUCKING DITCH ME!

Well, I work at 8am, so toodles. I get to work drive-thru. Btw, I have two jobs now, Shopper's and A&W. Enjoy.

-love love love

I have absolutely nothing else to do right now except for update my LJ. Which is exactly what I am doing if you can not see that.

What will I update about though? Nothing worth any intrest has happened in my life since the last time I posted which if I recall was like yesterday or the freaking day before that. My god.

My best friend and I, Lyndsay, we are not exactly on good terms right now ans as of tomorrow she will be gone. Moved away. University for her. Sure she'll only live 45 minutes away, but with both of our schedules colliding like they usually do.... heaven knows how much we will talk or yet see of each other.

FUCK THIS SUCKS!

I am so freaking bored. But the good thing is though that my brother may be getting me another part0time job where he works. So what if he works at an A&W, a job is a fucking job. And I NEED the money. Actually, in fact, I will hopefully be finding out tomorrow, since my brother and his fiance will be coming over for supper for the first time since, well... I'm pretty sure it was Easter. yay.

God when are my parents going to come home so I won't feel so alone. My sister went to work at 4:00, she should be home soon, sortly after 9:00 she said. Then perhaps we can go back to watching the O.C like we were earlier today.

Look at me just jabbering on like some broken record and talking about nothing in particular but whats on my mind at the time. Scrambled eggs. I figure thats what my brain must look like at the moment, slightly burned a little too. No, I am not on drugs because I think my brain would look like scrambled eggs, thats just from sitting around all the time having nothing to do and so much free time. 

Aww, fuck it, I'm done typing....

-love love love

i miss you...

Well, yesterday was the last day the Time Warp Music Store was open. I miss it already even though I hate that me and Lyndsay never went there more often. We were just too busy. 

Terry, the guy who owned and ran it was so cool. We were his favorite customers and he gave us so much free stuff over the time they were open. Free buttons, free posters, free shirts, he even gave us discounts off some of the records we had bought.

He's putting the store up on the web so we can still buy stuff from him and e-mail him. He like pretty much loves us. We gave him our e-mails and he gave us the phone number of their new house. They are moving to Suriss, Manitoba.

Him and his wife Sylvia are opening up a bed and breakfast in their new house and Terry is setting up the record store in the basement. He even invited Lyndsay and I to come visit him and stay at the bed and breakfast for free. He said to come of whenever we would like, like on weekends and we have nothing to do.

I'll miss the record store. We never went in and left without buying something. Some of the best things we've gotten have been from that place. I'm very proud to say that "I Got WARPED In Moose Jaw Saskatchewan!" (Thats what it says on the back of the free shirts he gave us.)

-love love love

Well... isn't this fantastic.

Lyndsay leaves in a week and a half to go to Regina for University.
I bet everyone can imagine how I feel.
Jeff leaves on the same day to go to Saskatoon for University.
And I'm stuck here with Errol.
I am going to have no friends and WAAY too much free time.
"But why not hang out with Errol?" I bet you are all asking.
And this is the reason why.
ERROL IS BEING THE BIGGEST FAG EVER AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO UNTIL HE GETS A BLOODY FREAKING REALITY CHECK!

Ok, there, satisfied?
Work is also gay and my sister goes back to school in a week.
My life could not get any better. GAG.

-love love love

Clearly all you need to know about it and how we felt about it is to go and read nowhere_girl12 's journal. 

-love love love

Well another week is almost complete and well here is an update from yours truly... me, yes thats who it would be.

Sunday was well Sunday and thats that.

Monday was so much fun. Lyndsay had the day off as well as me so we went out for breakfast with Jeff, THEN we went to Regina! YAY!
ROAD TRIP!
We had so much fun. We went shopping and went to Chapters, a bookstore and even had Wendy's! Oh it was like heaven. The best part was the ride back though. We made up this game where while we pass people on the highway we give them the peace sign and see if they give it back.  If they do its one point. We managed 9 on the way back to Moose Jaw which is only a 45 minute drive, thats pretty good, 9!!! Imagine what would would have had if we did on the way there and on the way back. Next time we go to Regina we have to beat that score. So excited for the next road trip to Regina!

Tuesday I spent the entire day cleaning the bathroom. Then me and my sister went to Wal-Mart so I could get the oil changed in my car. (Oh and also on Monday my car got a flat tire). Later me and Lyndsay went to the record store downtown called The Time Warp Music Store. We bought Sgt Pepper on vinyl and a very classy John Lennon poster. I was going to buy Abbey Road on vinyl but because I saw it there the last time we went, but it was sold, so I was kinda upset. Anyways, I spent the rest of the night cleaning my room which took me until tonight to finish.... oh boy.

Wednesday I worked and blah that was gay.
Thursday I worked and blah that was gay.
And I worked tonight... from which I had a total and complete meltdown when I got home... it was so fucking gay. I hate working there now... at my work I mean. Everything just isn't as fun and great as it used to be... the people there just suck so much now... I need to find a new job... in fact... I AM GOING to find a new job.

Thank god tomorrow is my last day supervising... *dies*

-love love love

Well I bet everyone is dying to know what my week has been like since I got my Rolling Stones tickets on Monday morning. Well here we go.

Monday was a great day, besides getting my tickets, me and Lyndsay, my best friend had a wonderful time. We delighted ourselves by pranking our two guy friends by going to their work places and writing all over their cars with Window Writers. It was so much fun. Errol got "Can't Get No" on his back window... well because everyone knows he can't get any. And Jeff got "Start Me Up" because well his car is just a piece of shit. It was Laughs all around for me and Lyndsay, not so much for them. Then we called them up to hang out with us, but both we're being losers so we went cruising in George. (Lyndsay's Beetle) Next thing we know we find out that Jeff got a $190 charge for drinking in a public place. FUNNY.

Tuesday me and Jeff went to visit Lyndsay at the park where she works during the week and everyone got in a big pool-noodle fight. Tons of fun. Then I went home and Lyndsay called me after work and we went down the the record store to find out that its closing at the end of August. We are both crushed. Its sad because we told the guy who owns that we'd be in a lot during the summer but we haven't been. (The guy who owns the place loves up because we are huge Beatle fans tee hee) Anyways we bought some records because we didn't want to leave without buying anything. We got Rolling Stones-Flowers, Paul McCartney-All The Best, George Harrison-Cloud Nine and The Who-Who's missing. Me and Lyndsay then proceeded to call Jeff and Errol to see if they wanted to go out for supper, but apparently they thought it would be fun to ditch us and go see Miami Vice, so we pranked them again by drawing on their cars for the second day in a row. It was hilarious seeing their reaction.

Wednesday I ripped my hair out at work (metaphorically).
Thursday i rippped my hair out at work (metaphorically).
Friday I ripped my hair out at work (metaphorically).
and Today I absolutely had a panic attack at work whilst ripping out my hair!!
I can't handle all the duties of a Supervisor and I still have tomorrow, next Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday to do it!
I AM GOING TO HAVE A COMPLETE MELT DOWN!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

-love love love

Todays date is July 31, 2006.

That means that Rolling Stones tickets went on sale this morning at 10:00am sharp. They are playing in Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada. The city that is exactly 45 minutes away from the city that I live in. I got up at 9:00am this morning to try my luck at getting tickets on Ticketmaster.com. I got through the first time i tried, and they were pretty good seats, but i got cocky and went for the serach again button. I started getting worried when I couldn't get through, but then I did and this time the tickets were like SO MUCH better. The were in the bleachers, row 17, seats 27-28 and $165 each. So I totally bought them.

The next tme I tried was for my mom and Lup. Because clearly the first ones were for me and Lyndsay. Anyways, so I tried to get my parents the same priced tickets as ours, but it was no luck, so I went for the next price down and voila. I got them tickets in the bleachers as well, row 23, seats 10-11. Their tickets are $99 a piece. I am so excited.

I didn't think that I would actually get tickets but now I am just hoping (and not to sound greedy) that Lyndsay dad will be cool and give me and Lyndsay the good seat tickets he got off EBay and take the two that I got for me and Lyndsay, It almost evens out exactly. The tickets Lyndsay's dad got are $300 seats a piece and totally awesome. I even went to visit Lyndsay at work to ask her if the tickets I got were good or not. Because I totally don't know. They just SOUNDED good to me. She said they are, but not as good as her dad's. So I am going to go to her house tonight and talk to her dad about him possibly giving us his tickets in trade for the two I got this morning.

Oh boy... excitment overload.

        I'M GOING TO THE 
        ROLLING STONES
                BITCHES!
               WHOOOO!

-love love love

Well, I've been feeling pretty down lately about a bunch of stuff that unfortunately I don't really want to go into detail about. I hope nobody minds, not that anbody really reads my journal anyways besides Lyndsay.

So after crying for like an hour after I got home from work today I talked to my mom and then Lyndsay called and I talked to her then she said she was going to pick me up and go get something to eat. So, we went picked up Jeff and then went to Boston Pizza. We met Errol there and the Trevor and Kevin showed up... that did not make me and Lyndsay happy. So after having a really weird supper which I pretty much inhaled, we left.

Me, Jeff and Lyndsay all went crusing after that and had so much fun. It was great we just liked talked about lots of stuff and it made me feel so much better. We listened to 90's music a lot of the time and it was hilarious just singing along and cruising.  Then Lyndsay had to take me home though and that sucked. 

I should try to get some sleep though. My eyes really hurt.

-love love love

So... I'm supposed to have people over tomorrow night because my mom is out of town. So far, it's like Me, Lyndsay, Jeff, Natasha... and thats it... i dunno if I actually want to do this... I want to invite more people and I keep asking Lyndsay who and she keeps telling me to invite whoever I want, but the problem with that is that I know a lot of people, but who out of those countless people I know are actually my friends and would want to come over and hang out? I don't have enough "friends" to have a so-called "party" or whatever I'm trying to do... I suck... 

Then tonight we went out for wings and everyone was talking about what they miss about Highschool, because we're like graduated and all... and I just couldn't think of anything... Highschool was like one giant blur to me and it really bothers me... There was only like a few good things that came out of Highschool for me... I can pretty much count them on one hand... sad, but its true... Then University became the topic and well I hit 'silent-mode' after that and hardly talked at all... I hate when my friends talk about that.. it makes me feel like shit because I'm to fucking welfare to go... and well insert here what I had to say about Univesity from my last post...

Plus my sister is having problems with her boyfriend and shes like crying everyday and it drives me nuts because I can't do anything for her or help her in any way... blah I feel so worthless... We had a nice talk the other night though and that was good, it was great to get some stuff out of her about whats bothering her and what not... got a bit of steam off myself.. ha ha ha... Work also sucks because I split some sort of cream all over my shoe and went home ealry so I could it in the wash and then I managed to get ocean breeze scented bath foam all over my work shirt and that mixed with Britney Spears Curious perfume made me smell like an old lady who hadn't bathed in 40 days... :P

I should probably stop ranting though becasue I'm just making myself sound even more pathetic, which actually doesn't  make sense because I am already pathetic, but I guess I can be more pathetic than I already am... blah I'm starting to make no sense....I have no friends... I hate not going to University next year... I love feeling so worthless... And I basically just wish the world would fucking blow up and everyone would die and hopefully I'd be the first to go and perhaps someone would miss me.

-love love love

Well, the Paranormal Dreams ended last night. I didn't have one. The only thing I can remember about the dream I did have was me carrying a casket and then dropping it as I fell to the floor crying. That doesn't qualify to become a Paranormal Dream because I don't remember more. I managed to get Five Paranormal Dreams in a row over the last week though, so thats good.

Anyways, me and Lyndsay went and saw You, Me and Dupree last night. I was good. We saw Dan, Cody and Brianne there. There was lots of funny parts so it was a funny movie.

I have been thinking a lot lately of what its going to be like next year when all my friends go off to University and I'm stuck here working to get money so I can go to University the following year. It sucks. I am so afraid that everyone is going to go off and make new friends and forget all about me... I'm easy to forget you know.... And here you can't even make new friends because everyone already knows everyone and someone is always going to say something bad about you to someone else and totally ruin your chances of making a new friend. It so retarded. I hate living is this stupid little hell hole of a town.

-love love love

Hmmm... yeah....
Definately just went and visited Josh's grave....
I've never been there and it was heart wrenching...
What makes it worse is that I never went to his funeral either...
I had to work and I feel so bad about it....
I went to school with Josh for so many years...
At first we had some trouble finding his grave....
Wrong section of the grave yard...
Getting my car tires caked in mud...
But we found it....
So many flowers and letters...
Lots of stuff even from the day he was buried according to Lyndsay...
We read some of the letters...
We're going to take some flowers and things up there....
Sometime soon, not sure when though...

*sigh*

Rest in Peace Josh
We all miss you

-love love love

I am responsible for the death of an innocent animal.
It was an accident but I still feel responsible.

It all started when I told my friend Jeff that we should go for breakfast this morning at the place where my best friend Lyndsay works. We had just finished eating and were going to leave when I saw a baby duck in the weeds by the tire of my car. I went over to it and itgot up and ran away... underneath my car. Now, I didn't want to run it over, so me and Jeff coaxed it out and Jeff picked it up. We went inside the store to see Lyndsay and she gave us a phone book to call the Humane Society where we live. They told us to take it to the park down town and release it to see if one of the other mother ducks would adopt it. 

Anyways, we got a box and put the duck in it, then Lyndsay decides to come over and name it, Herbert. So, me and Jeff left to take Herbert down to the park in his little box, to set him free. We get down to the park and we go to the serpentine and take him out of the box. He waddles down to the water right into a pack of teenage ducks.

(this is where its gets sooo sad)

Anyway, these teenage ducks don't like Herbert so they start to attack him and Jeff tries to scare them off but the just come back and drag herbert away and keep pecking at him... Thats when Jeff like had to drag me away and say there was nothing we could do....
That is why I am responsible for the death of an innocent animal.
I cried. I feel so bad.

P.S. Lyndsay's creepy cousin, Morgan, decides to call me last night t like 1 in the morning and ask me out. All I could think was like "Woah, Stalker!" Then I told Lyndsay. Yeah, not cool.

-love love love

Not much to update about.
I'm working a lot this summer, mostly day shifts and supervisor... yay... long hours, late nights... well not so much the late nights thing.. but w/e

Pirates of the Caribbean was really really good. Totally. So much fun going with all my friends. 

My new cell phone is the haps. I love it. It's sad that I can say that I love material things... it has no feelings... it can't love me back, waste of time it is. But I love it anyway, because my mommy loves me and bought it for me for a Grad/Birthday gift. I love it. End of pathetic story.

And now just for Lyndsay:
Mow! Amigos! Deux Amigos! Mer! Le pa qualow! Mow little men! Ne pas?
Defiantely love that fact that aside from speaking in a sort of kitty language we have done the unthinkable by adding in French and Spanish to the mix. And that incredibly funny hiss laugh. So.. not only are we kitties we are French and Spanish speaking kitties. Fuck... lol

-love love love

Whooo!
Pirates of the Caribbean!
Tonight!
Gunna be soooooooooooo much funs!
Going with Lyndsay, Jeff and Errol.
Possibly meeting other people there!

SOOOOOO EXCITED!
I even bout a Pirates button to wear.

-love love love